"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."
Psalm 130:5

When my youngest son Davis was born, he entered the world with a blaring caterwaul. For the first several weeks of his life, he seemed to cry at every touch and situation. It was as if he missed the comfort and safety of his former belly abode. He cried when his diaper was changed. He cried when his clothes were changed and he cried when he rode in his car seat. We jokingly said he was just a high maintenance baby but at the same time, we were seriously overwhelmed about how to handle our new cantankerous bundle of joy. Our first born son Andrew, was truly the ideal baby. Being first time parents, it was easy to convince ourselves that the sweet, calm temperament of baby Andrew was obviously the result of the exceptional skill and knowledge of his parents, right? Amused and laughing out loud, I can raucously declare.....NOT! Thankfully, having Davis quickly deflated our enormously puffed up "parent egos" and eventually, Davis would become a calm and contented infant, and in the process, he would teach his parents a thing or two, as well.

When Davis was 15 months old, we noticed he had general lack of speech and talking. He seem to produce a lot of noises and babbling, however, there was nothing distinguishable. By the time he was 2, the grand total of Davis’ vocabulary consisted of 5 words - Dadda, go, okay, two and Dru, Dru. Obviously concerned, we began a series of evaluations and eventually speech therapy. Throughout the next several months, Davis’ progress was very little and very slow. Weeks on end would go by with barely a new utterance and we began to lose hope and feared something was terribly wrong with our son.

At this time, finding out what was wrong with our son overshadowed and prevailed over all that may have been right. I no longer focused on the wonderful and amazing things Davis could do, instead I only focused on the inability of what he couldn’t do. I had to know if it was autism? Was it some type of neurological brain disorder? Maybe if I had a label then somehow this cloud of confusion would be lifted and I could begin to move forward in helping my son. Impatient, I took matters into my own hands, and instead of trusting God’s plan and searching His Word for my peace and perspective, I began searching the vast information pool of the internet. At first, it was helpful however, most of the time, I only ended up more confused and with more unanswered questions. Even my pediatrician reassured me my son was not autistic, but my mother’s heart was breaking for my child. I desperately wanted him to talk and to hear his remarkable thoughts fill my ears...instead, Davis continued to struggle and live a life without words.

In the fall of 2007, Davis continue his weekly speech sessions and he continued to make slow progress. At this time, we began to notice Davis had an exceptional skill for puzzles. One evening after receiving several hand-me-down puzzles from a friend, my husband decided to give Davis a challenge. He gathered up 6 of the wooden cut out puzzles, dumped the pieces on the floor, and told Davis to solve each puzzle. Then in a matter of minutes, Davis had all 40 pieces to 6 different puzzles placed in the appropriate spaces. It was as if he had a photographic memory of each piece and his concentration was intense and sharply focused. After this discovery, we quickly bought Davis several jigsaw puzzles, all above his age level, and watched in amazement as he effortlessly solved each one.

Not long after this, I found a book by Thomas Sowell called "The Einstein Syndrome". The book addresses critical characteristics of late-talking children, with emphasis and study-based information regarding bright children who also happen to be years behind in their expressive speech development. At first, this book seem to give me the answers I was looking for, however, one quote stayed embedded in my mind, "false hope can be as cruel as unnecessary despair." Wow, what a statement! I needed hope and was seeking information in anything that would provide it. Obviously, the process of searching for information is in no way wrong, but through those words, the Lord showed me I was hanging my hope on the words of others, instead of the Word of God.

Finally, the Lord gently grabbed my attention and reminded me of His words in Matthew 6:33 "But seek first HIS kingdom and HIS righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Foolishly, I was seeking to navigate my own way through this trial and in the process of snatching the controls from God, I completely forfeited the peace and wisdom of HIS Word. As difficult as this trial was, my reluctance to surrender my child to God’s will and purpose, only prolonged my pain and anxiety. In Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I have to remember that God is God and I am NOT!!! He knows every detail of our lives from beginning to end, as well as every detail of Davis’ life and I must choose to trust and submit to His right to rule over every situation of my life, including the delayed speech of my son. 1 Peter 1:6-7 it says, "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." With quiet assurance, I know God is using this situation to draw me closer to His heart and to build and refine my faith for HIS glory.

Today, Davis is a fun-loving and very rambunctious 3 ½ year old. Recently, he started making significant progress and has finally started talking in small phrases and sentences. However, the biggest change and sign of progress has been in my attitude. No longer do I allow fear of the unknown to guide my thoughts and actions. Yet in humble, daily surrender, I ask God for the strength and ability to release Davis into His capable hands. Now hopeful, I have willingly put down my research books and happily abolished my internet searches, and as a result, I have discovered peace for the passage and joy in the journey.